Be a Tool
by alienyouthct
Summary: Miranda's finally moving beyond the Combat Catsuit. Strangely enough, it's Liara who does not approve.


Title: _Be a Tool_  
Author: JoeHundredaire  
Rating: R/FR18.  
Disclaimer: BioWare is the owner of the Mass Effect trilogy, along with the mobile games, books, comics, and assorted other off-shoot products, and all related characters and concepts. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.  
Summary: Miranda's finally moving beyond the Combat Catsuit. Strangely enough, it's Liara who does not approve.  
Joe's Note: This is actually more a literary version of concept art than anything else. Lexi's been working on a post-Mass Effect 3 comic called _Synthesis_, and got a bit stuck when trying to outfit Miranda for missions. I had an idea, she wasn't sure that people would buy it, and so I volunteered to write up something quick as a test run. So… I'd appreciate a review even if it's just to say "what the fuck were you thinking?" or something else negative so Lexi knows to go back to the drawing board.

* * *

"What in the name of the Goddess are you wearing?!"

Frowning at the interruption, Miranda Lawson glanced up from what she was doing long enough to meet Liara T'Soni's wide blue eyes before looking back down at herself. "Armor, Doctor T'Soni. One would think that someone with an education of your caliber would be capable of recognizing such a thing." She waved her omni-tool over the heavy pistol in her right hand one last time, triple-checking the readings the scan returned before frowning and holstering it at her hip. Something about the gun was subtly off, but not enough to affection the mission. She'd speak with Jacob about it afterward, she decided. When Miranda looked up again, the asari was still staring at her like she was merrily gutting a kitten or something equally horrific. Resigning herself to the inevitable, she shut down her omni-tool with a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. "What, Doctor T'Soni?"

Two spots of purple appeared high on Liara's cheeks, which looked positively horrific with the asari's overall coloration and lighter violet freckles in Miranda's opinion. "Don't think I can't recognize what you've misappropriated from my people, Operative, even with your ghastly Cerberus colors slathered over it. The choker and headpiece of station, the overall design of the armor and the distribution of the three colors you've chosen… I'm not sure which is more astonishing: that you would be foolish enough to try emulating an asari cultural icon, or that you of all people are the guilty one."

Miranda raised an eyebrow at that, feeling the slender piece of white metal that wrapped around her eye socket shift accordingly. "I believe Yeoman Chambers has some sort of analogy involving puppies and kittens that would be relevant here. You can ask her about it later; I'm not in the mood to try and recite it verbatim for you. Suffice it to say that my personal thoughts on your people are just that, and I don't allow it to affect procurement."

"Procurement? Procurement?! The justicars are… no, they're more than cultural icons, Operative. They're revered among my people. It takes incredible skill and self-sacrifice to become one; you can't just go 'oh, I need some new armor, I think I'll fabricate a justicar's uniform for myself'!" Closing the distance between them, Liara grabbed Miranda by the shoulders and spun the brunette around before letting out a strangled gasp. "I recognize those barrier emitters. They're not just an asari design, they're what Serrice Council provides to real justicars for their exclusive use! And… is that an Acolyte?" Her hands drifted downward, one resting on the small of Miranda's back as the other tugged at the brunette's pistol. "Where did you get an Acolyte?"

Reaching back, Miranda swatted at Liara's hands before pulling away from the overly tactile asari. Honestly, didn't the woman know what personal space was? Typical asari. "The same way an asari does: by transferring the proper number of credits to Armali Council." She'd done so four times, too: once for herself, once for Samara, once for Subject Zero - who had yet to so much as touch hers, as best Miranda knew - and a spare unit just in case. Informing Liara of as much probably wouldn't help things any, though. "Now, if you don't mind? I usually require a woman to buy me dinner before I let her touch me like that... and have a normal skin color."

From behind her came a soft, familiar chuckle that made Miranda freeze in place. "I'll, uh, keep that in mind, Miranda." Slowly looking back over her shoulder, the brunette winced as Commander Alexandra Shepard stepped out of the shadows, trailed by the ship's resident - and incredibly amused-looking - justicar. Well, she was as incredibly amused-looking as Samara got. Most people wouldn't have noticed, but Miranda's recognized that particular lip quirk after working so closely with the matriarch for so many months. "The Kodiak seats six comfortably, so I decided to ask Jack if she wanted to come." Reaching up, she rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "I'm sure you can guess what her response was."

Miranda snorted. "Something involving at least a half-dozen obscenities and racial slur or two? Oh, and possibly something derogatory about Liara's parentage?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Making her way over to Miranda, Shepard leaned down and plucked a familiar white and purple pistol from the hardpoint on her right thigh, offering it to the brunette. "You'll need to do a lot more than buy me dinner before I let you take my last name, Miranda." Both of the woman's eyebrows shot skyward at that, and the redhead let out another throaty chuckle. "Jacob puts labels out on the armory tables for a reason. You were a Lawson last time I checked, not a Shepard."

Not that she would be particularly adverse to such a thi… oh, now definitely wasn't the time to be thinking about something like that. Miranda did her best to keep a straight face and ignore the faint burning in her cheeks as she unholstered the 'off' Acolyte and traded it to Shepard in exchange for her own. "Thank you. That's… quite the arsenal you're packing there. Speaking of the armory, is there anything left in it?"

Shepard nodded solemnly, attaching her Acolyte to the empty hardpoint on her thigh before reaching up to pat at the empty space between her shoulder blades. "I had to leave Natasha behind. I didn't want to, but she's no good for boarding actions. Guess it's just me and Thumper today…" She patted the M-77 attached to her left hip before glancing down. "Well, me, Thumper, your backup Hornet, the Scorpion that Mordin loaned me, and Sha'ira."

It was a good mix in Miranda's opinion: a traditional heavy pistol, a long-range submachine gun, and two heavy pistols that served as force multipliers. More than enough to make up for the commander's missing M-98 Widow. And… wait, her backup Hornet? Miranda narrowed her eyes; no wonder that one ding had looked familiar. She really needed to start limiting how much time Shepard was allowed to spend with Kasumi. And… "Am I ever going to find out why you decided to name a gun after the Consort?"

"Nope. A girl's gotta have some secrets and after Lazarus, I figure this is one of the few secrets I still have when it comes to you." Taking a step backward, Shepard turned to face Liara and Samara. "So, who's ready to overthrow the galaxy's most powerful information broker?"

"I've been ready, Shepard." Spinning on her heel, Liara called back to them over her shoulder as she stalked toward the shuttle. "And for the record, Operative, possessing it doesn't make your skin tone 'normal'. It just makes it yours. Anthropocentric bag of dicks."

As Shepard and Miranda stared at the normally unassuming asari's back in disbelief, Samara let out the very slightest of laughs. "Now there's a phrase I haven't heard in many a year. Her father had a similar… gift… with words." She paused for a moment before continuing, her tone slightly wistful. "Sometimes I wonder how things might have unfolded if I'd bonded with Aethyta instead of Jona. But then she met that hanar mercenary and… well, Alex, I know you've watched enough vids with Kasumi to guess where things went from there."

"They talked about 'the Enkindlers' for hours on end?"

"Don't be fatuous, Alex." Samara stared at Shepard until the redhead held her hands up in surrender, turning and following after Liara. Once the commander was out of earshot, the elder asari looked over at Miranda. "Something's troubling you, young one."

Miranda nodded, shook her head, and then sighed. "Liara. She…"

Snorting softly, Samara nodded in the direction of the shuttle. "She is a product of her people, who have made far too many extranet vids about my sisters and I. If she attempts to speak with me, I'm quite honestly tempted to insist she refer to me as 'Lady Justicar' just to fulfill her lofty expectations about my kind." Leaning a bit closer, she lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Did you know that the average asari honestly believes that we make our own weapons and armor? Personally, I'm quite glad we don't. If I'd had to build all the Postulants I've used in my time as a justicar, I'd have had no time to… well, be a justicar."

"Quite." Miranda glanced at the sleek white and purple assault rifle attached to the back of Samara's red and black armor… and then she froze. "Wait. You don't make your own armor? Then why did you insist I craft mine from scratch using the fabricator and Jacob's tools?"

Samara offered the slightest of shrugs in return. "By carefully releasing the plans to you a bit at a time, it ensured that you would be occupied at certain times and not seek me out when I was meditating with Miss Nought. A conflict minimalization technique, if you will."

"Miss Nought?"

"Jacqueline."

"Who?"

"…Subject Zero." Reaching out, Samara brushed the back of her hand along Miranda's arm. "Just remember what I told you when you first asked about my armor: just because armor and weapons are the only possessions that justicars don't foreswear doesn't mean that they are important to us. They are tools, nothing more. That is why I allowed you to construct your own, and that is why you will never be challenged by a justicar. You are not one of us, but this armor is not 'of' us. It is 'for' us."

Miranda took a deep breath and nodded before looking over at the darkened corridor the commander and Samara had entered from. "If it's just a tool that you were willing to share… does that mean we might be seeing a 'Jacksticar' some time soon? Because that seems like the sort of thing that Liara might want to see pictures of."

Grimacing, Samara shook her head before pulling away from Miranda. "I believe she gave up when she realized that the weight of the armor's lower half was more than a pair of red and gold suspenders could manage to support." Oh dear Lord. She'd been joking. What a perfectly horrific mental image. "Now come. A ship full of guilty souls awaits us."

"And T'Soni's drell to rescue."

"I've read Cerberus's files about him. If the Shadow Broker has allowed him to live this long, I intend to correct that oversight."

"…oh dear."


End file.
